When She’s “Too Much”

Confronting the Taboo of Female Sexual Power

Often, women express feeling like they are “too much” in bed.

They may have more desire than their partner, a strong urge for lovemaking, or they can be overwhelmed by intense passion.

And so, they hold back, simultaneously limiting their own energy.

Female sexual energy is much more potent

For millennia, we’ve been taught that it’s not polite to fully express female sexual power. That it’s not something a respectable woman should do, as if it were exclusively a male prerogative.

In reality, tantric practitioners understand that female sexual energy is much more potent than that of men. It may take longer to activate and requires specific conditions where a woman feels truly safe, secure, and connected.

To unleash the powerful hormonal response that leads to pleasure, a woman’s brain is less immediate than a man’s. But when she activates, she releases an incredible force that a man may never experience.

This is because a woman’s vital energy is much stronger.

Mother Nature endows females with a much greater energy reserve than males, allowing them to create life in their womb, to give birth and breastfeed. Something that obviously requires a tremendous amount of physical energy.

The first chakra of a woman is generally more developed, and sexual energy and orgasmic power are deeply connected to the energy of the earth and the root chakra.

It’s a fact for anyone involved in holistic disciplines and energetic practices: women are stronger and more vital, and consequently, they have a more powerful sexuality!

She’s too much and he feels inadequate

But in our culture, this is not accepted; it’s something that shouldn’t be shown or spoken about. This is why many women often feel like they’re “too much” when their sexual and orgasmic power is truly activated.

And they suppress it.

They dim it.

Also because their male partner can feel inadequate and experiences discomfort.

As a result women can find themselves dissatisfied and accumulate a certain amount of resentment and frustration, which then carries over into life and the things she does.

How to align in the couple

If it’s a fact that a woman has greater vitality and sexual and orgasmic energy than a man how can one align in the couple and nourish the union with a sense of mutual satisfaction?

Here are some guidelines, both for men and women:

For women:

It makes no sense to pretend otherwise to avoid making your man uncomfortable. Diminishing your energy as a woman and making problems for yourself in simply being yourself is not a good idea.

The era when you had to be ashamed of your sexual vitality is over. That was the burden of your mother, your grandmother, your great-grandmother. Honor the fact that you were born in a society where women are free and start considering your sexual appetite as extremely healthy, a sign that your body is alive, that energy flows, that you are in connection with yourself and your body.

Feel this force flowing within you.

You can be truly proud of it because you know that this primordial energy is something that serves you extremely well, makes you radiant, feminine, it’s pure joy of living.

Embrace it fully instead of being ashamed of it.

Consider it the most beautiful gift you can give to the person you love!

This powerful force that flows from your lower abdomen to your whole being can be channeled into everything you do in your life. It can be transformed into creativity, inspiration, unconditional love, pure intelligence, or spiritual devotion.

Let yourself be flooded with your erotic power; it will nourish your body, which will remain beautiful and vital. It will be your energetic charge that will make you vibrate at your best.

The path of Tantra is precisely this, learning to channel sexual energy towards the higher planes of being, towards the higher chakras. Try to imagine channeling your orgasm towards the heart, or towards the mind, or the crown chakra. It really turbo charges your personal growth and spiritual evolution.

For men:

Faced with the evidence that your woman has incredible sexual power, don’t fall into the trap of “feeling inadequate”. Those are the fears of toxic masculinity, which has always wanted to suppress women for “not feeling up to it.”

Tantric men, on the other hand, honor female strength and learn to ride that power just like riding a tiger. It will be your partner’s orgasmic energy that will lead you to an equally expanded and oceanic experience. You don’t have to fear it; it can be your best ally. She is the living power, you are the one who channels this energy.

Bow with reverence in front of such power. Tantric men honor the cosmic feminine that dances through the woman’s body. Let yourself be overwhelmed by wonder and adoration because before you is not only the woman you know but also the Divine Mother. This adoration that transcends the ego will open the portal to cosmic energy and then, together, you can experience sexual ecstasy.

Work on your first chakra to increase your vitality and be able to support female energy intensity. In Tantra, men practice every day to energize the root center and increase levels of vital energy. In addition to Yoga techniques like asana and pranayama, even simply a life in contact with nature, a healthy diet, and regular sleep will increase your vitality. You can also help yourself with tonics and natural supplements; nature gives us many plants that increase male potency. Do your research or consult an herbalist or an Ayurvedic doctor to understand what the right remedy is for you. (And leave aside Viagra, which is not good for your heart).

Accept and embrace

In summary, confronting the taboo of female sexual power means fully embracing your sexual vitality and learning to channel it positively, both for yourself and for your partner, thus creating an experience of intimacy and deeper connection.


Buddha Samantabhadra thangka

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