How Can Tantra Help Heal You
Tantra is a great help against sexual trauma by going on a healing journey with a holistic approach and embracing all spheres of being a woman. Body, mind, energy, and spirit.
A third of the women who come to our tantra workshops have been sexually abused!
A bitter truth!
Many women come to our courses in search of tools to heal the traumatic memories that abuse has left behind. I have heard weighty stories in so many years of working with women. I have seen terrified eyes. An abused woman is annihilated in her dignity as a woman and with all of us. When one is violated, we all get hurt. It is a collective wound.
When a woman finds a way to free herself from that ghost, we all heal.
How to help that woman, then, with fear in her eyes, regain trust in the human race and the masculine? How to show her that not all men are animals, that there is also a “safe” and loving masculinity out there?
And above all, how to bring her back to the awareness that the dignity of a woman is never taken. That in the depths of her heart, that candle is still lit. To know that no man or violence in the world will be able to extinguish it.
How to teach her vagina to open up again, to welcome love? (This is often the most challenging undertaking).
This is why the tantra path is so valuable:
Free The Body
Most women who have been through this nightmare have difficulty opening up even physically. The vagina remains constantly contracted, and they are unable to make love. The disorder can take such severe forms that it becomes an actual pathology, such as vaginismus. Other women react with total dissociation from the genital area, leading to numbness and frigidity.
Dear friend who is reading this, if this is your case, do not despair. Know that many things can be done to regain a balanced condition of your vagina and your sexuality. Don’t be afraid to talk about it; that’s usually the first step to healing. It’s time to break the silence! I know many women with stories of terrible abuse even very early in their life, women who lived in a terrible physical and psychological state, who now have a normal sex life.
You can learn exercises and practices to work on the vaginal muscles, relaxation and reactivation exercises from tantra. It is about learning to bring your breath down between your legs. Bringing love, trust, relaxation, and exhale to let go of all you no longer need – Fear!
You can use your voice to let out that scream in the bottom of your belly and turn it into a song. Opening your throat will also open your flower.
You can use your fingers to massage yourself gently and lovingly. Without forcing anything, ask your vagina to let you in and learn to trust again.
The tantric massage is the primary tool to free yourself from the traumatic memories your body stored. The vagina is the most receptive part of a woman’s body, which is why it holds so much. This happens whenever you haven’t felt good in your body, been penetrated too soon, or experienced abuse. This may have left a thin veil on your internal erogenous points, the vaginal canal, the G spot, and the cervix. Therefore instead of releasing energy and pleasure, it makes you feel pain or discomfort.
This can change! You can breathe in it, and you can let go. The practice of vaginal massage is effortless, and you can also do it alone. You don’t need to wait for the perfect man. Starting from bodywork, you will also dissolve the mental tensions related to your intimacy.
The erogenous points can be released, that veil can be dissolved, and under there, right under there, that ocean of pleasure awaits you.
The Psychological Plans
A certain amount of psychological work is inevitable regarding sexual abuse.
Alone, navigating the complex planes of the unconscious can be challenging, but you know well that it guides our behavior and emotions precisely.
Family constellations are a tool I have adopted to help women on a psychological level. I find it effective and safe. In this work, the family lineage often enters the scene to discover that a thin thread unites us, as women, to our mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers. When I work with family constellations on a theme of abuse, it almost always reveals that it is a repeating story, that something similar happened in previous generations, as a sort of unsolved theme that comes back. It is beautiful to witness that when this energy blockage is released for a woman, healing occurs in the entire lineage – the women who came before and those who will come later.
The path of tantra teaches men to transfigure every woman in the manifestation of the Divine Mother, the cosmic feminine principle. The tantric man venerates the feminine because he recognizes its enormous power. The adoration of the feminine has always been a central theme in tantra.
This alone represents incredible healing, especially in a patriarchal society like ours, where women have always been repressed and submissive. For a woman who has completely lost her confidence in the masculine, meeting a man who is ready to bow down in front of her, honoring her vagina as a cosmic portal in total respect and adoration, can indeed be a cure.
In tantric rituals, even non-sexual ones, men offer flowers, incense, prayers, mantras, etc., to the sacred Yoni (vagina), prostrating themselves in adoration.
What effect can such a practice have on a woman who has been violated, humiliated, or abused?
I have witnessed this many times, and I can testify that I have seen a remarkable transformation.
Tantra is the way of energy. It teaches you to become aware of your energy channels and chakras so that you can work to cleanse, release, and energize.
I have noticed that women who come from stories of abuse have a blockage in the second chakra, the one that governs the genital area, and the heart chakra. By learning to channel energy where it is needed, it is possible to obtain an energetic cleansing of the various centers and recreate that connection between the vagina and the heart. It will be love itself that will bring that capacity to elaborate and to let go.
Love is excellent medicine and can work miracles, above all, self-love.
In these cases, the third chakra, the center where the emotion of anger resides, can also be out of balance. How much anger can an abuse leave? The answer is a tremendous amount!
Living full of anger is unhealthy, especially when not conscious of it. It simmers profoundly and can make the body and soul sick.
By working on the chakras, anger often reveals itself, which can be expressed to get rid of or transformed. Anger is a potent force that overwhelms and blinds, but if you can transmute it, it can become the fuel for a great process of inner transformation.
This article is an invitation for all women who have lived through such devastating experiences as sexual abuse or, more generally, to anyone who experiences the body, intimacy, and pleasure in a non-harmonious way – to have courage. The courage to face one’s difficulties without shame. Ask for help from a tantra teacher, a psychotherapist, or anyone who inspires confidence in you.
Courage to embark on this path because this condition can and must change.
The tears of one woman are the tears of all women. The healing of one woman is the healing of all women.