Tag: tantra

Yab-Yum: union from body to soul

Yab-Yum: union from body to soul

You’ve seen this image before. In statues, icons or paintings, it is representative of tantra itself. A god and goddess sitting together in intimate union, the goddess on the lap of her masculine counterpart with arms and legs intertwined.
To the Western religious eye, it can look surprising or even inappropriate. Is this a form of body-worship or glorified hedonism?
Far from it, in reality. The yab-yum image represents the most profound non-dual teachings of tantra, as well as the highest potential of sexual tantric practice.

The divine symbolism of yab-yum

The yab-yum position is seen frequently in tantric art, both Buddhist and Hindu, so much that the image in itself is iconic for tantra.
Its symbolism transcends sexuality as we understand it at the human level, pointing instead towards a divine, cosmic sexuality: the union of polarity at the root, where all opposites dissolve into the totality.
And yet in this merging, the individual elements are not lost.
The word for non-duality in Sanskrit is “advaita,” heard most commonly in the context of Advaita Vedanta but equally applicable to the high tantric teachings. As in English, this word doesn’t mean “oneness” but literally “not-two-ness.”
It’s not that everything fuses into uniformity. It is a state in which there is no separation, no division, no illusion of individual identity, and yet the different elements remain as they are.
Nothing is lost, nothing is gained.
The mind can’t grasp this: it’s either one thing or many things, right?
One gift of sexual tantra is that sexual energy is powerful enough to take us beyond the rational mind, which by nature can only live in the dualistic world of one-thing-or-another, and transport us into this ineffable non-dual understanding.
The symbolic meaning differs slightly between Buddhist and Hindu tantra, but no need to be confused and try to figure out which is “true.” Just take the discrepancy as a reminder that when it comes to spiritual concepts, at a certain point they are all equally true and false. What matters is the Reality they lead towards.
In Buddhism, the feminine represents transcendent wisdom (Prajnaparamita, Mother of all the Buddhas), while the masculine represents compassion, the active principle.
The Hindu counterparts are reversed, in a sense. Here the feminine is active – Shakti, divine energy, the everchanging manifestation – while the masculine is passive. He is Shiva, the formless, unchanging point of pure Consciousness at the center of everything.
The union of the transcendent with the manifest represents the central teaching of tantra, the radical non-duality that views the manifest as a divine expression rather than just an illusion. In the tantric view, the eternal and the ephemeral are passionately in love with each other. Form and formlessness are always together, never one without the other, and yet still yearn for each other within the strange game of separation.
The world of form is so in love with formlessness that it always tries to dissolve back into it. And formlessness is so in love with form that its first primordial vibration is the pure intention to manifest as form.

The transcendent intimacy of sexual tantra

As a position for lovemaking, yab-yum exemplifies the principles of tantric sexual practice. It combines verticality with a profound sense of intimacy – interweaving the transcendent with the immanent.
Both partners are upright, sitting as if in meditation, allowing for the optimum flow of energy up their central channels towards the upper chakras. It helps the man to sublimate, and the woman to surrender as she feels supported and uplifted by her partner.
At the same time, it encourages an incredible intimacy between the partners at every level. Your bodies are entwined as close as is possible. Heart to heart, melting into each other. Going beyond the physical, beyond even an energetic or emotional union, you find each other at the point where there is no other, only union.

Recommendations for making love in yab-yum

This is a position that encourages deep intimacy and interiorization, best for later in the lovemaking session after the initial excitement has settled. There is almost no physical movement, but a fusion of the two lovers’ energy bodies taking them deeper and deeper in union.
It should be comfortable and easy to stay in for a long time, like a meditation posture (which, in fact, it is). The man might find it helpful to sit on a pillow or place cushions under his knees for support. If he has trouble maintaining the cross-legged posture, he can sit with legs outstretched.
In this posture, you can experiment with eye-gazing and with keeping the eyes closed to merge into each other, feeling how together you create one complete energetic circuit. It’s an ideal position for discovering the most profound meaning of tantric intimacy, the dissolution of the individual into cosmic principles and those principles into the Absolute, beyond name and form.

Lack of vitality? How to recharge your yogic battery

Lack of vitality? How to recharge your yogic battery

Do you often feel tired, dull or weak? Do you often get sick? Do you have enough energy for long lovemaking or tend to lose your drive early on?
These are all signs that your vitality, your basic life energy, is low.
Since tantra is a path of energy, it’s extremely important to run on full power. Vitality is important to feel good and stay healthy, but also so you can practice tantric lovemaking and powerful sublimation.
The yogic tradition provides a clear understanding of where this raw vital force comes from and how we can amplify it. Keep reading to learn cultivate your vitality and enjoy more energy, health and spiritual power.

Let’s meet muladhara chakra

Muladhara chakra is known as the “root chakra,” the psycho-energetic center connected to the earth element within a human being. Located at the base of the spine, it provides vitality and stability, like a battery powering the rest of your system.
Some people are born with a great muladhara: lots of vitality all the time! Some not. So it goes.
But if your muladhara isn’t natural strong, you can develop it with hatha yoga. There are asanas, pranayama techniques and other practices that will build up your root chakra and allow you to channel more vital energy through your being.
Men are more prone to a weak muladhara, so tantric men will work a lot on this chakra to develop the raw power needed for sexual practice.
So as a yogi, muladhara chakra is where you look first whenever there’s a lack of vitality. Besides the yogic approach, through asana and pranayama, here are some areas to consider:

Connection with the earth

Nothing replenishes the earth element in your being like connection with the actual earth.
Most people in Western countries these days live in a way that’s very cut off from this basic energy source. Living in apartment buildings, getting around in cars, walking with rubber and concrete between our feet and Mother Earth…
So get out there in nature. Touch the ground with your bare feet. Lie down in the sand. Find somewhere quiet and sit naked on the dirt. That’s right, put your root chakra right on the ground! The Earth will always replenish us, it’s her gift.

Diet

Muladhara chakra loves food. Are you eating enough? And more importantly, are you eating the right things?
So much food today is actually not nourishing at all. Packaged, processed food is not only bad for your body, it’s deficient in prana (life-force). No matter how many chips you eat, you never feel satisfied, right? That’s because they aren’t giving you any of the vital energy you really need.
Eating a balanced plant-based diet of simple, whole foods will do wonders for your vitality. Get plenty of raw fruits and veggies, since these contain the most prana. Avoid overcooking and leftovers, where the prana is depleted.
Root vegetables in particular can support in recharging muladhara, your own root.

Sleep

Sleep is essential for your vitality. If you skimp on sleep (especially if your astrological sign is air or your Ayurvedic constitution is vata dosha), this feeling of vigor and wellbeing is the first thing to go.
It is of course important to get enough sleep, but even more important to sleep in periods that correspond to your sleep cycles. Each cycle is roughly 90 minutes, varying by individual. Waking up in the middle of a cycle will leave you more tired than if you had woken up between cycles, even if it means getting up an hour earlier.
It also matters when you sleep. Going to sleep before 10pm is ideal, since during this time kapha energy (nourishing earth/water energy) is predominant. After 10pm, the energy goes to pitta (fire/water), more active and using up energy rather than replenishing it, and to vata (air/ether) late in the night.
This is why many creative people love the night – so much mental openness and creativity! – but it’s healthier to tap into the revitalizing kapha field when possible.

Stagnant energy

Sometimes a feeling of heaviness or tiredness isn’t caused by a lack of vital energy, but by the fact that your vital energy isn’t moving.
Energy stuck in the lower chakras, especially muladhara, can bring a sense of inertia. You’ll see this often in people with a lot of vitality (especially earth signs) but without so much of the fire element. This is just part of the nature of the earth element: solid, heavy, immovable… both its charm and its challenge!
The solution is to bring the fire! Working on manipura chakra, connected to the fire element, turns up the heat in your system and gets everything moving. It’s the element of dynamism and transformation, that will burn all that heavy energy and turn it into activity or send it upwards to the higher chakras. (Hence why it’s so important in tantric yoga.)
Asanas for manipura and sublimation practices like uddiyana bandha or nauli kriya are perfect for this.

Enthusiasm

Another possibility not related to muladhara is that your lack of vitality is actually a lack of enthusiasm.
Can you remember a time in your life when you were all fired up about some project? You maybe had so much passion to channel into it, you almost didn’t need to rest at all to feel vitalized and full of energy.
So if now you’re feeling dull, check if there isn’t something more significant missing in your life – some greater cause that moves and motivates you.
That greater cause doesn’t have to be saving the world all by yourself. It’s whatever sparks a fire in your heart, whatever gives you a reason to feel joy getting out of bed in the morning. Each of us has our own dharma, our own role to play in this great drama of life.
These days, when most of the world is on standby, it’s a better time than ever to look inwards and discover your most authentic calling. When you’re following this, you’ll always have the energy you need. It’s like instead of running off you own little battery, you plug yourself straight into the power source.

If you want to dive deep into the authentic teaching of taditional hatha yoga take a look at our 4 weeks Yoga Immersion Teacher Training Course starting November 18th in Mexico.

Dance with the Goddess: overcoming shame for women with a high sex drive.

Dance with the Goddess: overcoming shame for women with a high sex drive.

Women, do you love sex? Like, really love it?
Love it so much maybe you feel a little wrong for it?
Sex is wonderful and you are absolutely right for loving it! However, so many women even now feel shame around loving, enjoying and seeking sex, or fear that they might love it too much.
If this is the case for you, I recommend let’s take a look at the roots of this shame and how to overcome it to enjoy the glorious, powerful, divine sexuality that is the birthright of every woman.

Why the shame around women’s sexuality?

Even though Western society might seem now more open and sexualized than any culture in history, still every woman who grows up within it inherits shame from an early age.
This is something which is still alive in our collective consciousness, and you picked up these imprints no matter how you were raised.
It’s in the movies. It’s in pop music, books, TV and the news. It’s definitely in our “sex ed” classes.
Men are the ones who want sex all the time. Boys only ever want one thing, right?
Girls should put out (don’t be a prude!) but not too much (don’t be a slut!). We’re supposed to be the ones who would rather just talk, who fake a headache because we don’t feel like making love. We don’t hear about female orgasm in sex ed.
The irony here is that women have much stronger sexual energy than men!

Female vs. male sexual energy: compatible yet opposite

In yogic terms, women generally are much stronger in the lower chakras, muladhara and swadisthana, related to vitality and sexuality. We need this extra energy to create new life inside our bodies. When a woman is fully open in her sexuality, it’s the man who has to work to keep up with her.
(In fact, the main development for a tantric man is to learn to have a non-ejaculative, implosive orgasm that takes a shape similar to a female orgasm – but more about tantra in a minute.)
Male and female sexual energy do take different forms, for sure. Male energy is more quick, fiery and explosive. Female energy is denser and heavier. It takes longer to get it moving, but once it does…! Think the difference between a stick of dynamite and a freight train.
Many women find themselves wanting more sex than their male partners. And in this situation, before recognizing it as a simple fact and something to grow with in the relationship, that old shame rears its head!
“Is there something wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? Am I ‘too much?’”
There’s a reason why history imposed this shame on us. Female sexuality is incredibly powerful, fully capable of disrupting the rigid structures and hierarchies of old patriarchal societies. People within these structures were afraid of it.
Religion, especially in the West, was one of the most efficient systems for reinforcing fear and shame around female pleasure.
Most systems of spirituality, although they may transcend religious dogma and prejudices, are at best indifferent to sexual expression. It’s a distraction, a disturbance to avoid and ignore. Look at classical Advaita Vedanta or Theravada Buddhism for a clear demonstration.

Women’s sexuailty in Tantra

Fortunately, this is not the case in tantra. Tantrics have always valued feminine sexual energy: not just accepted but adored it! In tantra, it is seen as a potent manifestation of Shakti, the universal divine life force that underlies all of creation.
In the female body, the divine energy of the universe is not just an abstract concept but a tangible presence. This body, in all its strangeness and grace, truly is a temple.
“O Lady with beautiful hips!” Abhinavagupta, the greatest master of Kashmir Shaivism, began many of his writings with this exclamation. This “Lady” is the absolute Reality, not different from the formless transcendent aspect of pure Consciousness, but somehow also She is every human woman.
Tantric art, both Hindu and Buddhist, is replete with images of the female body in its full glory. No chaste Virgin Mary’s, fully draped from head to toe, but luscious figures with full breasts, voluptuous hips and wild hair. These aren’t pin-up’s (some of the goddesses are quite frightening!) but a recognition of the sacred power of female sexuality.
The same power and mystery that intimidates some is an incredible gift for an authentic and brave-hearted seeker after the Truth.
Female orgasm is wild. It is a formidable force of nature, terrifyingly divine, and a woman who is in connection with her own sexual potential is likewise a force to be reckoned with. Sexual tantra is then a path to the Divine that doesn’t color within the lines, doesn’t run alongside the boundaries of conventional society but blows past all limitations.

From shame to bliss

So how to drop old shame and reclaim your sacred sexual power?

  • Love your yoni. It all starts with the yoni. If you feel shame around your sexual energy, you probably aren’t comfortable with your vagina either. Spend some time getting to know and love her. When you value this most intimate part of your body, you’ll be able to adore yourself exactly as you are.
    Be honest in relationship: If you’re in a relationship with a mismatched sex drive, just be open and talk about it. The problem in these situations comes when there’s a lack of communication: one partner ends up feeling like their needs aren’t being met while the other feels pressured and resentful.
    It’s important to be sensitive around this topic, not to make your man feel insufficient, since this is probably a big fear for him – but bringing it out into the open, especially with this understanding of the sexual differences between men and women, will already take the edge off of his insecurity.
    There are lots of solutions for couples with different levels of sexual energy, ranging from work on vitality for him (yoga is great for this), to spicing things up with new games or time apart, to consciously opening the relationship.
  • Practice Tantra: As already mentioned, the tantric teachings are refreshingly welcoming of sexuality and female sexuality in particular. Learning Tantra can bring a deep shift in perspective so you see your strong sexuality as a sacred gift.
    In tantric yoga, you will also learn to sublimate your sexual energy: move it to the higher chakras where it becomes refined spiritual energy. Again you’ll find a high level of sexual energy to be a blessing here!
    Take a look at our Tantrik Academy here
  • Orgasmic Life Course: If you’re interested in exploring your femininity and sexuality, you are welcome to join Amita for her 5-week Orgasmic Life course for women, it’s FREE till July 4th. We’ll learn to connect with the yoni, to heal and release blockages, and unleash the incredible orgasmic potential within each and every one of us. Learn more

When a woman’s sexual bliss is released, it will infuse her entire life with magic!

Is Tantra a path for women?

Is Tantra a path for women?

While teaching tantra workshops around the world, we see clearly that women are leading the way, both in numbers attending our courses and that the men are often come led by their girlfriend’s hand!
However, so many stories of abusive teachers and toxic communities have rocked the tantra world in the last few years.
This can leave many women wondering, is the tantric path right for me?
Tantra was historically one of the spiritual paths most open to women, one of the few that was truly accepting and honoring of feminine power.
Unlike most organized religion and spiritual disciplines in ancient India (and around the world), tantric teachings were not restricted by caste or gender. The prerequisites instead were integrity, spiritual maturity and authentic aspiration.
In fact, tantra was not just open to women but depended on them.
It is thought that some of the roots of tantra lie in ancient cults of the Divine Feminine. Perhaps as an inheritance from those days, in many tantric lineages women were the initiators, the ones passing down teachings and empowerments through the generations.
Many core elements of tantric practice are very well suited to feminine practitioners, perhaps more so than the cold austerities of Vedanta or other ascetic traditions.
Tantra is a path of energy, of life, of an intimate connection to the elements all around us and within us. It is a path of devotion. It is a path to reaching enlightenment through the senses and the joy of embodiment, embracing beauty, color and multiplicity.
In tantra, the world is Shakti. Everything around us is the Goddess, in Her thousands of faces, and the tantric road to transcendence runs through a direct encounter with the sacred archetypes of femininity. It is a path that loves, honors and adores femininity.
And not just one model of femininity, like that old Christian reverence for the Virgin Mary. Among the tantric Goddesses we find images of beauty, sweetness and joy, but also terrifying power. Shakti takes the form of mother, lover, virgin, seductress, warrior, queen, widow…
So as a woman with a calling to explore tantra, how can you be sure you’re in a safe and authentic path?

  • Look for traditional teachings. Some modernization and adaptation to Western minds is fine and often very necessary, but the heart of the teachings should come from tradition. Spiritual wisdom passed down for centuries is generally more trustworthy than something that someone made up two years ago based on his or her ego, without knowing where it might end up.
    Authentic tantra, it’s important to note, is not only about sex! Sex is just one (very powerful) tool tantrikas use to attain spiritual realization. If you’re hearing only about orgasms and nothing about transcendence, you’ve landed in the realm of neo-tantra.
  • Spend time getting to know the teacher. In Tibetan Buddhism, the old recommendation was to spend 12 years with a teacher before fully accepting him (but then, you’d commit 100%!). Few of us have that much time to spare, but still, take your time before throwing your heart and soul into it. And just as important…
  • Get to know the community. Talk to other students, learn what attracted them to this path or this teacher, and how they feel they’ve changed. Ask yourself, do I want to become like the people who have been a long time around this teacher?
    Study with woman teachers or couples. Of course, this isn’t to say that all male tantra teachers are abusive, but female teachers are often more conscious and committed to creating a safe and protective space.
  • Check if the teacher sees female students as students or as women. It’s natural that men and women are given different advice along the tantric path, but if the only answer a teacher has for his female students’ issues is, “have more sex,” something is wrong.
  • Last but definitely not least, be clear with yourself. You need to know where your own boundaries are and have the self-assurance to stand up for them if they’re crossed. Your heart will tell you if you’re in the right place, you just have to listen.
    Tantra often takes practitioners to the edge of their comfort zone. This is good – it brings fast evolution – but you have to be sure this is what you want. Only when you trust yourself, you can trust the process.

Real tantra will never involve abuse. It will never leave anyone traumatized. There can be challenges along the way, but at the end it’s only love.
Tantric women, let’s hear from you! Do you have any advice for sisters just starting on the path?

Ethical sexual behavior in Tantra

Ethical sexual behavior in Tantra

The responsibility of teaching tantra and the question of “open relationships”

Teaching tantra is no simple job. Contributing to spread this ancient knowledge that has led to the liberation so many human beings over the centuries must be considered a real mission.
This requires exemplary preparation, both theoretical and in the direct experience of what is taught, with a complete integration of this knowledge into one’s life.
It is necessary to specify that it is not possible to separate tantra from yoga, as the first is considered a branch of the second.
In the last decade, with the boom of yoga in the West, the oriental holistic disciplines have become very fashionable but, often, they have lost the depth of the teachings. Instead, for the most part they have become yet another entertainment for the Western mind always in search of new stimuli. Yoga has become a gymnastics and tantra is a very fashionable thing to improve intimacy, exchange massages or indulge in the pleasures of the body and s*ex.
Tantra is a spiritual path that aims at the recognition of the Supreme Self in each of us.
Tantra is the search for God in the most intimate part of ourselves.
Nothing less than that!
Only by maintaining this approach it will be possible to avoid losing the depth of this ancient spiritual path. On the other hand, it is true that, by taking the path of Red Tantra, which includes the practical use of s*exual energy to access the Divinity that is in each of us, s*exuality becomes something never experienced before, opening up to unimaginable levels of pleasure.
It is also true that, in this journey, partners can find an intimacy so profound and sincere as it is unlikely between two people in bed. But until the two lovers drop the illusion of their identity to become One with the everything, merging into the Supreme Source from which everything derives, it cannot be called tantra.
Along the tantric path, due to the integration of s*exuality as an important human aspect, strong morality and correct behavior are absolutely essential.
S*exuality is one of the most integral aspects of the human being but, for this reason, it is also the most sensitive. It can be the source of the most powerful energy, recharging and regenerating all aspects of our being and our life, or a huge obstacle that blocks the free flow of energy and stifles our human potential.
S*exuality can create the strongest attachments and cloud the lucid vision of the mind and discernment, leading to conduct that does not respect oneself and others.
A tantra teacher must constantly check the purity of the intent and make sure that he/she does not use tantra and the role of the teacher for personal purposes and s*exual gain.
Creating a safe energy space is a primary responsibility of the tantra teacher.
Due to millennia of repressive culture, many women still have difficulties in navigating in the sphere of their own s*exuality.
A high number of women who was abused, often very early in life, approach tantra in search of healing.
This sacred approach can really be a great resource in this case. Experiencing that there are many men willing to honor the body of a woman like a Goddess is already a great healing in itself.
Despite this, these students may feel very vulnerable in the circumstance of a tantra workshop. The teacher has the responsibility to create a safe space where they feel protected and supported.
Many girls idealize the teacher and hope to receive help in the process of freeing their s*exual energy. This could actually happen, as the tantra teacher is an expert, but it is necessary to take very good care to the circumstance.
A girl who is approaching s*exually her tantra teacher out of idealization or projection, most probably can end in some unclear situation which will bring a lot of frustration, jealousy, attachment and pain. It is the responsibility of the teacher to pay attention to this and avoid any unhealthy situation, sometime evaluating that is better to avoid s*exual intercourse with students, for the benefit of the teaching and of the student.
Recently, in different spiritual environments around the world, we have been witness to so many scandals exactly for this reason.
Let’s clarify this: despite what many people think in the modern tantra world, this path does not have to pass necessarily through “open relationships” or promiscuous s*exuality. People often use tantra as an excuse to justify frivolous and shallow behaviors.
You can practice tantra in your long-term relationship as well and this sometimes is even better. By knowing each other so well, the level of intimacy can be really amazing.
Open relationships can be a possibility only if both partners are deeply willing to explore it and no one is suffering. Otherwise this can bring about a lot of difficult emotions to deal with and waste a lot of energy. This is absolutely counterproductive.
Big suffering due to disharmonious relationships can leave traumatic memories in the psychic apparatus that can take years to heal.
Every time, in name of s*exual freedom or the erroneous use of the concept of tantra, suffering is created and also negative karma is created. We do not consider this beneficial for spiritual accomplishment.
Whatever you choose to do in your relationship and in your s*exual life, this is an invitation to be aware not to use the name of tantra as an excuse for dwelling in superficiality and to escape depth and commitment.

The 7 benefits of the internal orgasm

The 7 benefits of the internal orgasm

If the man had a remote control for pleasure it would have only two buttons, switching on and off, while the remote control for a woman would be equipped with several buttons that vary depending on the emotional state, the moment, the situation etc…  The experience of orgasm in women can be profound and satisfying and leave behind a real sense of contentment and emotional nurturing, while other times it can be a superficial, quick, irritating experience that leaves a sense of frustration.

  • If during the clitoral orgasm the energy is directed outward, dispersing and leaving a state of tiredness and exhaustion, the deep orgasm, in contrast, is a complete experience that involves the whole body. Women who know the internal orgasm, consider the clitoral orgasm only a reduced version of sexual potential, a superficial experience, which despite being very intense leaves behind a trail of frustration and incompleteness.
  • Clitoral orgasm is a male type experience and in the long run can create energy imbalances, Yang energy will suppress that Yin and the woman will become stronger and more in control of everything but not able to let go to the flow of life. With this you do not want to demonize the clitoris and the pleasure that comes from it, but if it becomes the only expression of sexual gratification, it will lead to excess of male energy in the energy field of women.
  • Clitoral orgasm does not require emotional involvement. Vaginal orgasm, on the other hand, is an experience that gives a sense of deep emotional contentment, the musculature of the whole body softens, the breath becomes free and deep, the mind reaches a state of complete relaxation and the heart is open. and full of love. Sigmund Freud himself, the father of psychoanalysis, had sensed that women who experience deep sexual contentment are more relaxed, face life in a relaxed way and are less prone to stress and neurosis.
  • External orgasm involves dispersion of energy outside, just as ejaculation in humans leaves a sense of exhaustion and draining until the energy has returned to normal levels. Vaginal orgasm, on the other hand, does not involve dispersion of energy towards the outside, on the contrary it gives a sense of revitalization, the woman feels energetic, luminous, sensual and is ready to experience another orgasm of greater intensity.
  • The deep vaginal orgasm manifests itself with deep vibrations of the vaginal muscles that rise up to involve the wall of the uterus, they go to massage and soften the tissues bringing more blood and lymph. This involves the elimination of toxins and ensures a greater flow of nutrients going to play an important prevention for cellular health of the uterine wall.
  • Deep orgasm can be an incredible opportunity to get in touch with your authentic female. The woman recovers sensuality, sinuosity and softness, she begins to live well in the body, inside her own skin, to like and appreciate herself as a woman, something opens and blooms, becomes luminous and beautiful, shines with her own light, opening up she finds her own center to give herself to the world with maximum potential.
  • Deep orgasm is no longer a purely physical experience, it involves all levels of women, it is an orgasm that touches the soul. The mind frees itself from every thought to make room for an ocean of inner peace, the boundaries of one’s being expand and the energy field increases, the tantric orgasm is an extraordinary experience that can open to ecstasy. The energy rises to the higher chakras (Ajna and Sahasrara) to open up to mystical experiences of great spiritual transformation. The two lovers can experience states of expansion of consciousness, accompanied by a state of mystical ecstasy where everything is perceived as intimately connected with the whole, and where every illusion of separation between oneself and the rest of the Universe disappears. Tantric orgasm can become an important spiritual experience for both partners.

Amita Helga Albini

Gymnastic for the pleasure

Gymnastic for the pleasure

The perineum area, also referred to as the pelvic floor, is for many women a part of the body that is still a mystery, and given its relationship with sexuality but also urination and defecation, it is often loaded with the sense of modesty and cultural taboos.

The pelvic floor is the muscular area between the anus and the vagina (or the anus and the testicles in the case of men), and consists of a series of muscles intertwined with each other thanks to a reticulated structure, so as to be extremely resistant but flexible at the same time.

In the woman there are three orifices made up of the anus, the vagina and the urethra, and when faced with excessive exertion, the female perineal area is much more vulnerable than that of a man. The function of the pelvic floor, in addition to contributing to sexual pleasure, is to support the abdominal organs and to control the orifices, keeping this part of the body toned but extremely elastic and relaxed contributes to the health of women at all levels.

When the pelvic muscles weakens and loses the right tone, the woman can manifest annoying symptoms such as:
-urinary incontinence (as a result of sneezing, coughing, laughing)
-prominent abdomen (despite the diet the belly does not decrease)
-sexual insensitivity and lack of orgasm
-a sense of heaviness in the lower abdomen
-symptoms of prolapse of the uterus and bladder
-strenuous delivery and post-partum recovery slow and difficult

Unfortunately, these are very common conditions in women of all ages and it would be sufficient to rehabilitate the perineal muscles through specific exercises to recover the right trophism of the muscle fibers and the consequent disappearance of the mentioned annoying symptoms. The basic exercise we are going to learn to counteract the pelvic impairment is the contraction followed by the relaxation of the pubo-coccygeal muscle and neighboring muscles. To easily identify the muscles to contract, try to stop the flow of urine during urination. that’s the muscle to train!

You can repeat the contractions over and over again, always alternating with moments of total relaxation of the muscles. The relaxation phase is as important as the contraction phase in order not to fall into states of fatigue of the delicate intimate muscles. You can perform them lying down, sitting or while doing other activities of the day, such as sitting in the office, it will be your little secret and no one will notice it. The tissues of the vaginal wall and the neck of the uterus will benefit enormously from this exercise because the contraction helps the blood change, the blood loaded with toxins and carbon dioxide is eliminated in large quantities, while new fresh and oxygenated blood will spray the tissues, a breath of fresh air for cellular health.

Last but not least is the effect of the toning gymnastics of the pelvic floor on the sexuality of women. The orgasm, which is the culmination of sexual pleasure, is physically due to a very rapid series of contractions and relaxation of the muscles, many women are unable to experience intense pleasure that leads them to this orgasmic state only because the musculature is not able to contract properly.

This problem of “momentary frigidity” (I want to underline the word “momentary” because every woman is able to expand the ability to feel pleasure until orgasm), can be resolved quickly with exercises focused on the vaginal muscles.

The daily practice of contractions will make your vagina toned, elastic and vital even for women who have given birth or for those no longer very young, the intense pleasure to your partner improves sexuality and therefore intimacy and understanding.

Try it, you’ll see you will not regret it!

Amita Hega Albini

When libido declines

When libido declines

The frantic life of modern society forces us to live at a sustained condition in which the mind is constantly agitated, the brain increases the production of cortisol while decreasing the level of oxytocin (a fundamental hormone for sexual life) creating a vicious circle of stress and tension. The perception of the body decreases considerably, we live too much in the head and little in the body and sexual desire decreases.
The libido is the barometer of the condition of our energy, when we are well, we are vital, relaxed, happy and love increases, while when something hinders the free flow of energy in our being sexuality is the first to be affected.

Completely absorbed by work, the care of children, husband and home, many women forget themselves, forget to take some time for themselves, forget to take care of their interests and dreams. The years pass and the energy begins to fall and a sense of dissatisfaction makes life grey and boring. The drop in libido often tells us of a decline in enthusiasm for life itself.

Sometimes the loss of libido can be caused by a lack of vitality due to fatigue or a health problem. We can consider sexual energy as a luxury of the body, when it cannot afford it because the vital energy meter is in red due to a precarious health condition or tiredness, then nature closes the libido taps so that the system can operate in energy saving mode until the batteries are recharged. When we are too tired we do not want to make love, if we ignore this signal that our body sends us to be affected will be the couple’s understanding as sexuality is the fuel that keeps it vital. Letting this happen without paying attention to it is the best way to let our relationship fade and lose intensity, sometimes in an irrecoverable way. It is much easier to prevent planning a time for a walk in the open air, yoga classes, regular physical activity, if possible a holiday or anything else to help us increase our vital tone. When energy returns, sexual vigor will also reappear with it.

In this regard it is necessary to remind the women who have recently given birth to a child, that during the period of breastfeeding there can often be a decline in desire and that this is a normal physiological phenomenon and not intended as a personal or couple problem. At the base of this phenomenon there is the hormonal balance typical of the lactation phase, in which the testosterone precipitates and instead grow the levels of prolactin, inhibitor of the libido, moreover the decrease of the estrogens can create vaginal dryness making the relationship difficult and annoying. Unfortunately, the new mothers are not always adequately informed by the health system, and with the lack of correct information, the temporary sexual separation of new parents can be experienced with extreme discomfort, especially in cases where breastfeeding lasts a long time, in cases where it is necessary for the health of the child. The woman, on her side, will have the foresight to inform the partner that this hormonal situation is not caused by his will or a lack of interest in the partner, and above all that it will not be permanent but only linked to the months of breastfeeding.

Tantra explains the sexual attraction between two individuals as the attraction of two different energetic charges, namely the masculine (Yang) that we can associate with the positive electric charge, and the female (Yin) negative electric charge. The man is attracted by the woman because she is opposed energetically to himself, the “+” attracts the “-“, and vice versa, and when the two energetic charges meet then the spark occurs, expressed in human nature as sexual desire. In couples who have been together for so many years it may happen that a decline in sexual attraction occurs, the years pass and the intensity of the first moments is replaced by the routine of couple life and in the great majority of cases this happens due to a decline in polarity . By spending so much time together the positive and negative energy pole merge and lose the original energy charge, the feminine is less intense as well as the masculine, the two electric charges lose power and flatten in a median polarity that no longer produces that spark with the same intensity.

To find the right energy polarity and the intensity of the encounter it is necessary to separate often, to allow oneself to miss one another helps reinforce the desire and in reuniting you will regain that emotion of the early times, you return to being sensitive to ‘the smell of the partner to which may not usually the case. After a period of separation every moment together seems magical and intense. Cultivating the polarity between the two partners is the secret of a relationship that remains fresh and vital over time, a real investment for the couple. Only keeping the interest of each other high without ever ceasing to discover the partner, continuing to be fascinated by exploring the changing nature of his being without taking it for granted, without losing the playfulness of the beginning and adoration of the first moments, being grateful every day for his presence in your life, then that plant will become big and strong and will give wonderful flowers.

Another factor that can make the libido inexorably collapse between the couple is to live a constant conflictual climate. When much of the available energy is used to discuss, there is not much left for intimacy, and moreover the tensions create a state of physical and emotional contraction that is not conducive to the cocktail of hormones necessary for love.

Sometimes, even if consciously we are armed with all the good intentions, the dynamics coming from the unconscious can deeply undermine the intimacy of the couple, whether we want it or not in it the same mental structures of the relationship with the parents are involved, so it is practically impossible not to be influenced by them.

Often the couple is the field in which an unsolved outline of the project is projected and for this reason a wonderful opportunity to explore oneself, to avoid facing things so as not to create conflicts by covering it up is not a correct and evolutionary strategy and in the long run creates emotional disastrous distances for intimacy. But falling into the drama of emotions and living a daily newspaper constantly undermined by confrontations and tensions is equally counterproductive. The most constructive attitude is to explore the mechanisms that emerge with your partner, and through loving communication, welcoming and supporting each other in their own passages. Even the worst difficulties can be solved through the acceptance of the other and unconditional love. Some scientific research has established that happy couples are those who, for every difficult and tense moment, manage to recreate at least another five pleasurable moments of intimacy and understanding.

Making love, then, is a real nourishment for the couple, sex keeps the relationship alive and increases physical and psychic closeness, reinforces the sense of belonging and complicity. Keeping sexual passion alive is taking responsibility for one’s relationship in spite of the years that pass, work, children and everything else.

When sex hurts for her

When sex hurts for her

The female libido is not as obvious as the male libido, it is subject to multiple hormonal, psychological and emotional factors. Sometimes it is revealed while other times it is hidden, and if it is not nourished it can end up lost in oblivion. Addressing the issue of decreased libido, it is imperative to mention that 40% of women experience pain during penetration and for this reason associate the relationship with something unpleasant and move away from sex.

The vagina is composed of an extremely elastic tissue and therefore the painful condition during penetration is not considered natural. Only with this awareness will it be possible to find the courage to face this limitation without the shame to talk about it and find the right remedies to solve the problem, so as not to deprive ourselves of a great energy resource for us as women and as fuel for a loving partnership agreement.

The first thing to do is to check with your doctor that there are no physiological causes, in fact the presence of irritations or infections can create discomfort or burning during intercourse. Very often, the pain during penetration is only due to haste, the time for deep and loving physical contact is essential to create that space of intimacy where a woman can feel protected and safe in opening completely to the other. For men it is easier, even though they often resort to sex only to relieve stress and the relationship suffers and becomes superficial, but for women, so emotional and sensitive, relaxing and opening up, rediscovering that state of inner softness and letting go, may not be an easy passage in the hectic life of today.

Each of us has an area of the body where tension and stress accumulates, the shoulders, the lumbar region, the abdomen, even the vagina wall, like any other muscle in the body, can accumulate tension and appear closed and contracted. There is a real muscular disorder of the pelvic floor, called vaginism, which causes the vaginal muscles to remain constantly contracted. In this case the vagina is impenetrable and even the thought of sex is a cause of discomfort. The origin of this problem is however almost always of psychological origin or due to a stress condition. Many women have experienced unpleasant, traumatic or even violent sexual experiences, and every time they approach the moment of penetration, a state of psychological contraction does not allow their flower to open and blossom.

It is important to know that these are all solvable conditions, and that if you take the responsibility to deal with the emotional issues from which they originate, you can transform the trauma that has always blocked your energy into one of your strengths, one of immense resource. If it seems to you that dealing with traumatic memories alone is too big a business, ask for help from a therapist who can help you unravel the entanglement of your unconscious experience. Find the courage to open the pot and look inside, when you have done it you will feel much freer and lighter, vital.

The education received from parents greatly influences the ability of a woman to open and live sex in a healthy way, free from shame. A subtle thread unites every woman with the female family lineage behind her, whether we want it or not a part of the unconscious attitudes are inherited by the homologous parent, especially with regard to sexuality and the sense of modesty. It is not so long that the woman has gained the freedom to feel pleasure, only a couple of generations ago, since childhood they were educated in the annihilation of deep drives and sexual desire.

This is the cultural legacy we have received from our ancestors of past centuries, handed down from mother to daughter from generation to generation. Without wanting to replace any psychological therapy, the ancient practice of vaginal massage (also called Yoni-massage) can be an effective tool to remove emotional blocks and traumatic memories from the tissues of the physical body.

• Yoni massage is certainly the best tool you have available if you suffer with hypertonic vagina. In recent years the ancient tantric practice of intimate massage has become very fashionable, probably to counteract the “stress of modern life” effect on sexuality. It can be considered in all respects a holistic massage, as eliminating the muscular tensions of the genital area will go a long way to loosen ancient psychic tensions related to sexuality and consequently to bring about a general state of relaxation. But what to do then, if we feel pain during penetration?

• Breathing is certainly our best ally, breathing deeply helps us to ease mental tensions and to rediscover the body, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system that allows you to loosen and dilate, enter into a mode of well-being, relaxation, sincere love, gratitude.

• Leave the expectations aside: do not judge yourself feeling inadequate, start from a state of acceptance of yourself, you and the varied world of your emotions. If you feel tension while making love, try to welcome everything that comes, from space, breathe in, do not fight, listen to what you want to say. And then let it melt, it’s your great opportunity to turn it into pleasure.

• It cultivates trust: the ability to let oneself go completely, where one abandons every kind of resistance to give oneself completely. This requires a great deal of inner trust and self-confidence, it is not always easy to remain so open because this state makes you vulnerable and sensitive and is sometimes scary.
Only through total abandonment does the body open and our flower opens up ready to welcome, without effort or pain. Only by remaining open and receptive can you best express your feminine essence.

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