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Tantra and Homosexuality: The art of sacred intimacy in the homosexual couple

Tantra and Homosexuality: The art of sacred intimacy in the homosexual couple

During our seminars around the world, we often meet homosexuals, both men and women, who ask us if it is possible to apply the principles of tantric sexuality even between two partners of the same gender. To meet this need, we have undertaken research in the context of the ancient tantric tradition but, neither in ancient texts nor in consulting with various masters, we have found references to homosexual sexuality in Tantrism.
Despite this, we have used our experience as yoga and tantra teachers to draw up some guidelines that are also perfectly applicable to homosexual couples.
First of all, we must make it clear that sexual energy is born from the energetic attraction between a masculine and a feminine polarity – Yin and Yang, solar and lunar – which are attracted to each other throughout the universe, from the level of atom to the most complex life forms.
The spark that ignites the sexual charge is nothing else but an electricity generated by male and female polarity.
This is a universal law, like the force of gravity, and cannot be questioned.
It is clear that masculine and feminine are present in each of us, either expressed or in latent form. You can be born in a woman’s body and manifest this energy outside while keeping your masculine side latent, or vice versa. The factors that determine which polarity we naturally express are manifold, linked to our relationship with parents and to education, to social culture, to what we experience in life and probably also linked to karma. What cannot be denied is that both polarities, male and female, are contained in the psychic apparatus of each of us.
Even in homosexual sexuality, the spark is born between a masculine and a feminine energy. This is an inescapable universal law. If there were no such polarity, there would be no fuse that frees this powerful energy which is sexuality.
It is clear that if there is sexual attraction between two men or two women, one of the partners is expressing his feminine aspect and the other the masculine.
Not being a homosexual, I asked many gay friends to tell me about their experience and I discovered that this kind of polarity in homosexual couples can be constant or alternating during the relationship.
Returning to tantric sexuality, a clarification is needed above all for couples of men:
The main foundation of tantric sexuality is the sublimation of sexual energy towards the high chakras, preventing it from being wasted externally with ejaculation.
When a man learns to implode his orgasm instead of exploding it outward, all this energy is channeled into the spine, leading to high states of consciousness as in meditation and prayer. A true spiritual experience!
Containing seminal force requires great control, a certain familiarity in maneuvering one’s own energy and often requires real training on the part of man.
Women in this are more fortunate, as the internal female orgasm is by nature implosive. The energy is freed towards the high chakras without great effort. All that a woman must learn is the ability to totally abandon herself to this experience to liberate its power to the maximum.
When a man makes love with a woman, when she frees all this force that implodes upwards, he can ride the wave and climb with her imploding orgasm. A true alchemical miracle. Man, through the woman’s internal orgasm, can experience orgasmic experiences that involve not only the genital area but the whole body, where the energy rises along the column activating the upper chakra. A great expansion experience!
Surely even in sexuality among men, it is possible to reach such levels and avoid exploding energy outward with ejaculation (this leads to a drastic drop in vital energy and a sense of exhaustion) but this requires a capacity for even stronger energy control.
Also in the masculine body there is an implosive erogenous point positioned in the prostate area and which is stimulated with anal penetration. It is called “point P” and is the equivalent of the G-spot in the woman, being able to release an implosive orgasmic energy even for men.
I kept asking my gay friends if they had ever experienced this experience. I discovered that it is not such a common thing, because anal pleasure frees an energy that is very powerful but still dense and heavy. Linked to the Earth element, it is connected to the first chakra and often remains limited to the low chakras. However, this type of deep, oceanic orgasmic “valley” experience may be possible also between two men.
Speaking of homosexual sexuality, in terms of Yin and Yang energy, there is another aspect to be explored. This has been explained by Mantak Chia, contemporary master of Taoist tantra.
He claims that, since the physical body of two men are still predominantly loaded with Yang energy (with an emissive characteristic), they could undergo an imbalance of this energy. This can lead to a continuous sense of dissatisfaction: sex is never enough, and an excessive need to ejaculate which could lead to the exhaustion of vital energy.
Often, in fact, in male gay environments, sexuality can become really extreme and promiscuous. (Obviously not always! We are talking about people with little awareness of their own energy and guided mainly by animal instincts).
In his books, Mantak Chia provides specific advice for homosexual men, practices to absorb Yin energy to balance the excess of Yang. I report some of them:
• Expose the genital area to the moonlight, full of Yin energy, without clothing of course, to absorb the lunar energy (Yin).
• Create a small hole in the earth and lie down on your stomach putting the penis inside, absorbing the Yin energy of the earth
• Occasionally invite a woman for a three-way tantric ritual (if there is such open-mindedness of both partners, of course).
In the case of homosexuality among women, Mantak Chia speaks of the opposite situation in which there is an excess of feminine, receptive Yin energy. Two women standing together can experience an excess of passivity that can lead to long-term apathy. Frequently two women will end up being together as sisters and sexuality may not be very vital. Obviously, based on the personal predisposition of both women, this cannot be a fixed rule. Following are some practices to balance the Yang energy:
• Allow sunlight to enter the vagina and absorb the Yang energy.
• Extended use of penetration during sexual intercourse between two women, with the help of special tool.
• Occasionally invite a man for a three-person tantric ritual (only if it is lived in a pleasant and harmonious way).
With this I hope I have explored the subject in a complete and politically correct way, without having offended anyone’s sensitivity. For me, love is the only thing that matters, in any form and colors.
My intent is to bring more energy awareness in the field of sexuality but my love and my respect goes to any human being in the same form, regardless of identification with one gender or another.
The human being is wonderful precisely because of its diversity. From everyone there is something to learn and I am open to your comments and your sharing.
Amita – AumTantraYoga

Ethical sexual behavior in Tantra

Ethical sexual behavior in Tantra

The responsibility of teaching tantra and the question of “open relationships”

Teaching tantra is no simple job. Contributing to spread this ancient knowledge that has led to the liberation so many human beings over the centuries must be considered a real mission.
This requires exemplary preparation, both theoretical and in the direct experience of what is taught, with a complete integration of this knowledge into one’s life.
It is necessary to specify that it is not possible to separate tantra from yoga, as the first is considered a branch of the second.
In the last decade, with the boom of yoga in the West, the oriental holistic disciplines have become very fashionable but, often, they have lost the depth of the teachings. Instead, for the most part they have become yet another entertainment for the Western mind always in search of new stimuli. Yoga has become a gymnastics and tantra is a very fashionable thing to improve intimacy, exchange massages or indulge in the pleasures of the body and s*ex.
Tantra is a spiritual path that aims at the recognition of the Supreme Self in each of us.
Tantra is the search for God in the most intimate part of ourselves.
Nothing less than that!
Only by maintaining this approach it will be possible to avoid losing the depth of this ancient spiritual path. On the other hand, it is true that, by taking the path of Red Tantra, which includes the practical use of s*exual energy to access the Divinity that is in each of us, s*exuality becomes something never experienced before, opening up to unimaginable levels of pleasure.
It is also true that, in this journey, partners can find an intimacy so profound and sincere as it is unlikely between two people in bed. But until the two lovers drop the illusion of their identity to become One with the everything, merging into the Supreme Source from which everything derives, it cannot be called tantra.
Along the tantric path, due to the integration of s*exuality as an important human aspect, strong morality and correct behavior are absolutely essential.
S*exuality is one of the most integral aspects of the human being but, for this reason, it is also the most sensitive. It can be the source of the most powerful energy, recharging and regenerating all aspects of our being and our life, or a huge obstacle that blocks the free flow of energy and stifles our human potential.
S*exuality can create the strongest attachments and cloud the lucid vision of the mind and discernment, leading to conduct that does not respect oneself and others.
A tantra teacher must constantly check the purity of the intent and make sure that he/she does not use tantra and the role of the teacher for personal purposes and s*exual gain.
Creating a safe energy space is a primary responsibility of the tantra teacher.
Due to millennia of repressive culture, many women still have difficulties in navigating in the sphere of their own s*exuality.
A high number of women who was abused, often very early in life, approach tantra in search of healing.
This sacred approach can really be a great resource in this case. Experiencing that there are many men willing to honor the body of a woman like a Goddess is already a great healing in itself.
Despite this, these students may feel very vulnerable in the circumstance of a tantra workshop. The teacher has the responsibility to create a safe space where they feel protected and supported.
Many girls idealize the teacher and hope to receive help in the process of freeing their s*exual energy. This could actually happen, as the tantra teacher is an expert, but it is necessary to take very good care to the circumstance.
A girl who is approaching s*exually her tantra teacher out of idealization or projection, most probably can end in some unclear situation which will bring a lot of frustration, jealousy, attachment and pain. It is the responsibility of the teacher to pay attention to this and avoid any unhealthy situation, sometime evaluating that is better to avoid s*exual intercourse with students, for the benefit of the teaching and of the student.
Recently, in different spiritual environments around the world, we have been witness to so many scandals exactly for this reason.
Let’s clarify this: despite what many people think in the modern tantra world, this path does not have to pass necessarily through “open relationships” or promiscuous s*exuality. People often use tantra as an excuse to justify frivolous and shallow behaviors.
You can practice tantra in your long-term relationship as well and this sometimes is even better. By knowing each other so well, the level of intimacy can be really amazing.
Open relationships can be a possibility only if both partners are deeply willing to explore it and no one is suffering. Otherwise this can bring about a lot of difficult emotions to deal with and waste a lot of energy. This is absolutely counterproductive.
Big suffering due to disharmonious relationships can leave traumatic memories in the psychic apparatus that can take years to heal.
Every time, in name of s*exual freedom or the erroneous use of the concept of tantra, suffering is created and also negative karma is created. We do not consider this beneficial for spiritual accomplishment.
Whatever you choose to do in your relationship and in your s*exual life, this is an invitation to be aware not to use the name of tantra as an excuse for dwelling in superficiality and to escape depth and commitment.

Teaching Yoga in the Twentieth Century: Pro’s and Con’s of the Modern Era For Spirituality

Teaching Yoga in the Twentieth Century: Pro’s and Con’s of the Modern Era For Spirituality

What does it mean to be a spiritual seeker in modern times, in the Internet age?
Before the world became so technological, if you wanted to receive the teachings of a master you had to travel across the world, by land, to go and knock at the doors of a guru who likely would test your determination by letting you wait days or months at the doorstep.
Once accepted, the student had to serve the guru and revere his guidance as a servant. In return, he received knowledge. How many of these stories have been known for millennia, in the Himalayas and on the banks of the Ganges! That was the price you had to pay, the fair exchange to receive the teachings of a guru.
Now it’s all different. You can access everything with a click and pay with a bank transfer.
On the internet, even we Westerners can access some of the ancient knowledge of yoga and tantra without moving from home or receive it in a concentrated way in a few weeks, without so much effort.
On the other hand, the “market of spirituality” is so inundated with any kind of information and concentration of disciplines that for those who want to seriously deepen their spiritual research, it’s not so easy to find the right source of knowledge without running into superficial surrogates rather than any authentic kind of yoga or especially tantra.
In the era in which yoga has become only gymnastics and tantra has been transformed into so many things except the original teaching, how do you find your way? How to avoid taking paths that leave you confused and make waste so much time?
Even those who hear the call to teach are confronted with the modalities of modernity. The teacher no longer waits for the students to arrive guided by the law of karma.
If a teacher now wants to fill his or her courses, he must use trendy language, have a website with gorgeous photos, advertise on Facebook, write a book that becomes a bestseller on Amazon, etc…
The truth is that a yoga teacher must spend a lot of time in front of the computer (which is not at all yogic) if he or she wants to spread this knowledge. He must adapt to the language of the world. To carry his message, the yogi must leave the cave where he has meditated for so long and force a foot into the “system.”
He must practice using the computer, write interesting articles and put on a good face to shoot videos to post. Only then he can attract attention!
The “job” of the yoga and tantra teacher has become inflated. What’s more, let’s not forget that while most yoga teachings now are only oriented to the well-being of the physical body, more spiritually oriented teachers must find their place in the same crowd.
So any teacher who feels in her heart that she must bring the more spiritual and esoteric teaching, and that this is what matters the most, must nevertheless jump into the jungle of competition among the millions of teachers who are out there presenting a mainstream, physical version of yoga.
It is not easy to maintain a yogic mental state in these conditions. It is very easy to fall back into mental agitation and lose the “detachment” that is so much taught in yoga.
It is also easy to enter into competition patterns with other teachers, because in any case a school must also survive economically in order to have a future and to be sustainable.
What we see in the world of yoga teachers in the twentieth century is that those who are successful and attract many students are not the teachers who have such strong spiritual aspiration and capacity to inspire other human beings – a fundamental requirement of a teacher – but those who are economically strong and can invest in marketing and advertising.
This is an invitation for every yoga teacher (including us of course) to remain fully aware of ourselves, to understand how the compromises we make in order to teach in modern times affect our own integrity.



The tantric relationship: being together to evolve

The tantric relationship: being together to evolve

The tantric relationship: being together to evolve
16 years together, it seems like an eternity!
In the times in which marriages often end in the third year of living together, our relationship seems like an ancient Egyptian pyramid that resists time and atmospheric phenomena, unwavering and stable. The storm passes, sometimes real cyclones, yet Marco and Amita still come out together. Then the hot, arid desert sun, but Marco and Amita find a way to nurture the foundations of their life together. It’s all true?
Well, of course there were storms, when the hurricanes of the inner turmoil of both of us affected the couple. There have also been certain dry moments, certainly, of those that leave a dry throat.
And yet, even those times when everyone thought we would split, we found a way to rebuild ourselves, to be reborn from our renewed and grown ashes. This is the truth!
It has been certainly not easy, there were times when it seemed impossible to agree on our requirements, so opposite, almost mirror-image.
We both saw our parents suffer as a couple and we had to, in some way, rebuild that inner trust that a man and a woman can be happy together. This has cost a great deal of inner work, individually before that of a couple.
Only when both partners in a love relationship are able to look inward, only when you can bring awareness into the dark shadows that we all carry and turn them into light, then the couple becomes a wonderful tool for growth with two, without fall into mechanisms of projection and manipulation. It takes so much courage!
But it is the only real way to create a solid foundation for the couple that allows the union to survive even in difficult times.
Consecrating the relationship to personal and spiritual growth has always been our philosophy, at the cost of getting out of our comfort zone to face those parts of us that we like the least and that sometimes hurt.
Don’t use the other to feel protected and safe by bury your head in the sand!
Our life together has always been a real “work in progress”, a flow between moments of rest and regeneration and others of great inner work.
This is our recipe and it is also what we want to convey and share through our work, as teachers, where the best version of us comes out!
Marco and Amita

The meaning of some basic terms in yoga practice

The meaning of some basic terms in yoga practice


Start or amplification of a vibrational phenomenon in a system under the influence of similar vibrations produced by another system. The phenomenon of resonance takes place when the frequency of a vibration is close, or coincides with one of the frequencies with which the system that comes into resonance is able to vibrate. During the resonance process there is always a transfer of energy from the stimulating system to the stimulated system. At the time of resonance, the amplification increases significantly, showing a typical peak as in the graphs. This phenomenon could become infinite – as happens at higher levels – due to a certain friction that comes to develop with resonance. Being a selective phenomenon, the resonance offers us the possibility to “work” on a large scale with energies that otherwise would be too small or even imperceptible or even to drive the transfer of energy on a certain frequency in relation to a phenomenon. Resonance is an essential, very sensitive method to better understand many phenomena in the world of yoga.


Quantity indicating how many times a phenomenon occurs periodically in a given time fraction.


Alteration of a specific characteristic of a circuit or vibratory system by means of which its frequency is equal to that of another given frequency. The agreement operation leads to harmony.


The transformation of a nuclear structure of atoms through which one element can become another, or a substance can disintegrate into an enormous amount of energy. The original concept derives from alchemy, where the end of the practitioner was the legendary enterprise of turning metal into gold, this process is called the transmutation of metals. From a yogic point of view, it is shown that it is possible to transform the lower components of the body into higher structures or forms of matter, or even more in different forms of energy. Many of these processes are nowadays known under the name of biological transmutations such as for example nuclear reactions that occur in living beings at normal pressure and temperature. In the human being the process of low-energy nuclear transmutation takes place: during mental activity, in emotional states, erotic experiences, love intercourses and spiritual experiences.

Tuning, unison, consonance

The equalization of specific frequencies of a certain vibratory system (for example the tuning of two string instruments tuned to the same musical note).

Discover how to practice this priciple in our teacher training couses.

Marco – Aum Tantra Yoga

Real Yoga in modern time

Real Yoga in modern time

In recent years we have witnessed a “boom” of Yoga around the world.
If once it was necessary to go to India on the banks of the river Ganges to find a teacher and learn the discipline, nowadays intensive yoga and training courses for teachers are found in almost all latitudes of the planet.
But has the quality of the teachings of Yoga been maintained in this “globalization” of a discipline so ancient and profound?
The answer is unfortunately, no.
In most cases, what is left of the ancient esoteric and spiritual path of Yoga is nothing but a complex series of stretches for muscles and ligaments. These give a healthy and elastic body, a deep sense of relaxation and therefore well-being. But is this Yoga? Bodily health and calmness of the mind?
The answer is again: No!
Don’t get me wrong – flexibility and health of the physical body is a great thing. Yet this aspect is only the tip of the iceberg in the way of Yoga. A positive side-effect that improves quality of life. This is very good but there’s a lot more to discover.
Yoga is the in-depth study of the energetic structure of human nature. This includes a dense network of energy channels and Chakras (energy centers) in which energy flows, or can become blocked. With various techniques including positions, breathing, mantra repetitions, visualizations and meditation, these energy channels are purified and opened in a progressive way so as to be able to sustain higher levels of energy. When the system is perfectly optimized, the energy can flow to the upper chakras to achieve the expansion of consciousness.
In fact, Yogic teachings maintain that most human beings use only a limited part of their potential, and for this reason their level of consciousness remains at a certain level. But human potentiality can be amplified, and anyone who steps on the path of an authentic practice of Yoga can experience it. The levels of vitality, intelligence, intuition, ability to love, personal power etc. are amplified even after a few months of intense practice.
And yet, this too is not the ultimate goal of Yoga.

In Yoga, as in of any spiritual practice, the purpose is to discover the true, universal, Divine nature of one’s being.
Yoga maintains that it is possible for every person to experience this. To feel and sense themselves as inseparable from the universe itself, as eternal and immortal consciousness. This is a mystical experience, a state of recognition of the universal nature of the True Self. Often it is accompanied by a sense of pure ecstasy, a beatific pleasure that infuses being and that brings a beneficial treasure on all levels, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
How? The pathway is in bringing our mental attention inward. We learn, with training, to focus the mind in a single point until the discursive flow of the mind ceases. With mental peace it flows to channel our energies upwards, towards the higher chakras, opening the gates of consciousness.
Recognizing the universal nature of one’s self is the real purpose of the Yogic discipline. This is why the word Yoga means “Union”, that is the union of one’s individual microcosm with the Universal Macrocosm.

We understand that this is much more than the physical discipline that is often found in gyms and Yoga centers around the world – even in our our homes, thanks to the internet. In fact, while on the one hand the knowledge of Yoga has become more accessible, on the other hand this ancient wisdom practice has been emptied of its depth reduced to a form of physical, toning gymnastics.
I have been practicing Yoga for more than 25 years. In those years I have studied in various parts of the world and also in the homeland of Yoga, India. But for a decade of my research I found only masters who instructed me in a re-elasticizing and toning physical practice but which brought very superficial effects on my being. The mind swiftly resumed its agitated conversation, the fears were always the same and it didn’t really seem to me to get a deep transformation.
When I met the authentic and esoteric teachings of Yoga, I immediately understood that what I had practiced up until that moment was only a superficial aspect and that much more was waiting for me. With enthusiasm I threw myself into the study of the energy aspects of Yoga, for years and years my life was marked by an intense practice of 4-5 hours a day on the Yoga mat.
Gradually I began to perceive the inner changes that this produced, I refined my ability to channel energy towards the high chakras allowing the consciousness to always vibrate in a very subtle way. I started using my energies in a much more constructive way. Some changes in life happened naturally, in diet, in work, in my social life and in my relationship with my partner.

A different approach to existence has completely transformed my way of perceiving the world and life. Where there was anxiety, now there is much more expansion, where there was fear now there is so much peace.

Amita Helga Albini – Aum Tantra Yoga

The 7 benefits of the internal orgasm

The 7 benefits of the internal orgasm

If the man had a remote control for pleasure it would have only two buttons, switching on and off, while the remote control for a woman would be equipped with several buttons that vary depending on the emotional state, the moment, the situation etc…  The experience of orgasm in women can be profound and satisfying and leave behind a real sense of contentment and emotional nurturing, while other times it can be a superficial, quick, irritating experience that leaves a sense of frustration.

  • If during the clitoral orgasm the energy is directed outward, dispersing and leaving a state of tiredness and exhaustion, the deep orgasm, in contrast, is a complete experience that involves the whole body. Women who know the internal orgasm, consider the clitoral orgasm only a reduced version of sexual potential, a superficial experience, which despite being very intense leaves behind a trail of frustration and incompleteness.
  • Clitoral orgasm is a male type experience and in the long run can create energy imbalances, Yang energy will suppress that Yin and the woman will become stronger and more in control of everything but not able to let go to the flow of life. With this you do not want to demonize the clitoris and the pleasure that comes from it, but if it becomes the only expression of sexual gratification, it will lead to excess of male energy in the energy field of women.
  • Clitoral orgasm does not require emotional involvement. Vaginal orgasm, on the other hand, is an experience that gives a sense of deep emotional contentment, the musculature of the whole body softens, the breath becomes free and deep, the mind reaches a state of complete relaxation and the heart is open. and full of love. Sigmund Freud himself, the father of psychoanalysis, had sensed that women who experience deep sexual contentment are more relaxed, face life in a relaxed way and are less prone to stress and neurosis.
  • External orgasm involves dispersion of energy outside, just as ejaculation in humans leaves a sense of exhaustion and draining until the energy has returned to normal levels. Vaginal orgasm, on the other hand, does not involve dispersion of energy towards the outside, on the contrary it gives a sense of revitalization, the woman feels energetic, luminous, sensual and is ready to experience another orgasm of greater intensity.
  • The deep vaginal orgasm manifests itself with deep vibrations of the vaginal muscles that rise up to involve the wall of the uterus, they go to massage and soften the tissues bringing more blood and lymph. This involves the elimination of toxins and ensures a greater flow of nutrients going to play an important prevention for cellular health of the uterine wall.
  • Deep orgasm can be an incredible opportunity to get in touch with your authentic female. The woman recovers sensuality, sinuosity and softness, she begins to live well in the body, inside her own skin, to like and appreciate herself as a woman, something opens and blooms, becomes luminous and beautiful, shines with her own light, opening up she finds her own center to give herself to the world with maximum potential.
  • Deep orgasm is no longer a purely physical experience, it involves all levels of women, it is an orgasm that touches the soul. The mind frees itself from every thought to make room for an ocean of inner peace, the boundaries of one’s being expand and the energy field increases, the tantric orgasm is an extraordinary experience that can open to ecstasy. The energy rises to the higher chakras (Ajna and Sahasrara) to open up to mystical experiences of great spiritual transformation. The two lovers can experience states of expansion of consciousness, accompanied by a state of mystical ecstasy where everything is perceived as intimately connected with the whole, and where every illusion of separation between oneself and the rest of the Universe disappears. Tantric orgasm can become an important spiritual experience for both partners.

Amita Helga Albini

Gymnastic for the pleasure

Gymnastic for the pleasure

The perineum area, also referred to as the pelvic floor, is for many women a part of the body that is still a mystery, and given its relationship with sexuality but also urination and defecation, it is often loaded with the sense of modesty and cultural taboos.

The pelvic floor is the muscular area between the anus and the vagina (or the anus and the testicles in the case of men), and consists of a series of muscles intertwined with each other thanks to a reticulated structure, so as to be extremely resistant but flexible at the same time.

In the woman there are three orifices made up of the anus, the vagina and the urethra, and when faced with excessive exertion, the female perineal area is much more vulnerable than that of a man. The function of the pelvic floor, in addition to contributing to sexual pleasure, is to support the abdominal organs and to control the orifices, keeping this part of the body toned but extremely elastic and relaxed contributes to the health of women at all levels.

When the pelvic muscles weakens and loses the right tone, the woman can manifest annoying symptoms such as:
-urinary incontinence (as a result of sneezing, coughing, laughing)
-prominent abdomen (despite the diet the belly does not decrease)
-sexual insensitivity and lack of orgasm
-a sense of heaviness in the lower abdomen
-symptoms of prolapse of the uterus and bladder
-strenuous delivery and post-partum recovery slow and difficult

Unfortunately, these are very common conditions in women of all ages and it would be sufficient to rehabilitate the perineal muscles through specific exercises to recover the right trophism of the muscle fibers and the consequent disappearance of the mentioned annoying symptoms. The basic exercise we are going to learn to counteract the pelvic impairment is the contraction followed by the relaxation of the pubo-coccygeal muscle and neighboring muscles. To easily identify the muscles to contract, try to stop the flow of urine during urination. that’s the muscle to train!

You can repeat the contractions over and over again, always alternating with moments of total relaxation of the muscles. The relaxation phase is as important as the contraction phase in order not to fall into states of fatigue of the delicate intimate muscles. You can perform them lying down, sitting or while doing other activities of the day, such as sitting in the office, it will be your little secret and no one will notice it. The tissues of the vaginal wall and the neck of the uterus will benefit enormously from this exercise because the contraction helps the blood change, the blood loaded with toxins and carbon dioxide is eliminated in large quantities, while new fresh and oxygenated blood will spray the tissues, a breath of fresh air for cellular health.

Last but not least is the effect of the toning gymnastics of the pelvic floor on the sexuality of women. The orgasm, which is the culmination of sexual pleasure, is physically due to a very rapid series of contractions and relaxation of the muscles, many women are unable to experience intense pleasure that leads them to this orgasmic state only because the musculature is not able to contract properly.

This problem of “momentary frigidity” (I want to underline the word “momentary” because every woman is able to expand the ability to feel pleasure until orgasm), can be resolved quickly with exercises focused on the vaginal muscles.

The daily practice of contractions will make your vagina toned, elastic and vital even for women who have given birth or for those no longer very young, the intense pleasure to your partner improves sexuality and therefore intimacy and understanding.

Try it, you’ll see you will not regret it!

Amita Hega Albini

When libido declines

When libido declines

The frantic life of modern society forces us to live at a sustained condition in which the mind is constantly agitated, the brain increases the production of cortisol while decreasing the level of oxytocin (a fundamental hormone for sexual life) creating a vicious circle of stress and tension. The perception of the body decreases considerably, we live too much in the head and little in the body and sexual desire decreases.
The libido is the barometer of the condition of our energy, when we are well, we are vital, relaxed, happy and love increases, while when something hinders the free flow of energy in our being sexuality is the first to be affected.

Completely absorbed by work, the care of children, husband and home, many women forget themselves, forget to take some time for themselves, forget to take care of their interests and dreams. The years pass and the energy begins to fall and a sense of dissatisfaction makes life grey and boring. The drop in libido often tells us of a decline in enthusiasm for life itself.

Sometimes the loss of libido can be caused by a lack of vitality due to fatigue or a health problem. We can consider sexual energy as a luxury of the body, when it cannot afford it because the vital energy meter is in red due to a precarious health condition or tiredness, then nature closes the libido taps so that the system can operate in energy saving mode until the batteries are recharged. When we are too tired we do not want to make love, if we ignore this signal that our body sends us to be affected will be the couple’s understanding as sexuality is the fuel that keeps it vital. Letting this happen without paying attention to it is the best way to let our relationship fade and lose intensity, sometimes in an irrecoverable way. It is much easier to prevent planning a time for a walk in the open air, yoga classes, regular physical activity, if possible a holiday or anything else to help us increase our vital tone. When energy returns, sexual vigor will also reappear with it.

In this regard it is necessary to remind the women who have recently given birth to a child, that during the period of breastfeeding there can often be a decline in desire and that this is a normal physiological phenomenon and not intended as a personal or couple problem. At the base of this phenomenon there is the hormonal balance typical of the lactation phase, in which the testosterone precipitates and instead grow the levels of prolactin, inhibitor of the libido, moreover the decrease of the estrogens can create vaginal dryness making the relationship difficult and annoying. Unfortunately, the new mothers are not always adequately informed by the health system, and with the lack of correct information, the temporary sexual separation of new parents can be experienced with extreme discomfort, especially in cases where breastfeeding lasts a long time, in cases where it is necessary for the health of the child. The woman, on her side, will have the foresight to inform the partner that this hormonal situation is not caused by his will or a lack of interest in the partner, and above all that it will not be permanent but only linked to the months of breastfeeding.

Tantra explains the sexual attraction between two individuals as the attraction of two different energetic charges, namely the masculine (Yang) that we can associate with the positive electric charge, and the female (Yin) negative electric charge. The man is attracted by the woman because she is opposed energetically to himself, the “+” attracts the “-“, and vice versa, and when the two energetic charges meet then the spark occurs, expressed in human nature as sexual desire. In couples who have been together for so many years it may happen that a decline in sexual attraction occurs, the years pass and the intensity of the first moments is replaced by the routine of couple life and in the great majority of cases this happens due to a decline in polarity . By spending so much time together the positive and negative energy pole merge and lose the original energy charge, the feminine is less intense as well as the masculine, the two electric charges lose power and flatten in a median polarity that no longer produces that spark with the same intensity.

To find the right energy polarity and the intensity of the encounter it is necessary to separate often, to allow oneself to miss one another helps reinforce the desire and in reuniting you will regain that emotion of the early times, you return to being sensitive to ‘the smell of the partner to which may not usually the case. After a period of separation every moment together seems magical and intense. Cultivating the polarity between the two partners is the secret of a relationship that remains fresh and vital over time, a real investment for the couple. Only keeping the interest of each other high without ever ceasing to discover the partner, continuing to be fascinated by exploring the changing nature of his being without taking it for granted, without losing the playfulness of the beginning and adoration of the first moments, being grateful every day for his presence in your life, then that plant will become big and strong and will give wonderful flowers.

Another factor that can make the libido inexorably collapse between the couple is to live a constant conflictual climate. When much of the available energy is used to discuss, there is not much left for intimacy, and moreover the tensions create a state of physical and emotional contraction that is not conducive to the cocktail of hormones necessary for love.

Sometimes, even if consciously we are armed with all the good intentions, the dynamics coming from the unconscious can deeply undermine the intimacy of the couple, whether we want it or not in it the same mental structures of the relationship with the parents are involved, so it is practically impossible not to be influenced by them.

Often the couple is the field in which an unsolved outline of the project is projected and for this reason a wonderful opportunity to explore oneself, to avoid facing things so as not to create conflicts by covering it up is not a correct and evolutionary strategy and in the long run creates emotional disastrous distances for intimacy. But falling into the drama of emotions and living a daily newspaper constantly undermined by confrontations and tensions is equally counterproductive. The most constructive attitude is to explore the mechanisms that emerge with your partner, and through loving communication, welcoming and supporting each other in their own passages. Even the worst difficulties can be solved through the acceptance of the other and unconditional love. Some scientific research has established that happy couples are those who, for every difficult and tense moment, manage to recreate at least another five pleasurable moments of intimacy and understanding.

Making love, then, is a real nourishment for the couple, sex keeps the relationship alive and increases physical and psychic closeness, reinforces the sense of belonging and complicity. Keeping sexual passion alive is taking responsibility for one’s relationship in spite of the years that pass, work, children and everything else.

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